Let Me Explain


I’ve just up and started this web log espousing my extreme financial desirous delusions of grandeur, and absolute covetous craving for the beloved chance to spend my seconds in a way that I see fit, while simultaneously neglecting to tell you about who I am – so rude of me.

I graduated college  in two-thousand and ‘fjththghg’ with a degree in Film. I went to work for a live event company where I basically learned to set up, operate and tear down audiovisual equipment.  I encountered lots of people everyday.  Fast-forward through the crazy bosses, office politics, small pay increases, angry customers, elated customers, good times, bad times, overnight sets, early morning tech calls, ROIs, P&Ls and a few promotions, and somewhere in those few years, I was operating my own venue.

Before then, I was a hard worker, but might slack off and cram all at the same time because I was usually doing a job that had been previously done by someone my senior, or,  in the future would be done by multiple people – AKA – they let me ‘do me’ because I was consistently doing a lot of work.


I had a baby!

Oh, it was amazing!  He is an absolute dream and my love muffin, and of all of the people in my world on this earth – or any – he comes first. Period.  I don’t think this works well in the corporate world, though. Actually I know it doesn’t because I am currently unemployed.


So now what?

Well, I have a small, cute and hungry baby to feed, so I apply for jobs.  I am not on unemployment or any food assistance programs, so I hustle.  I’ve sold some things on ebay and craigslist.  I freelance in my field, and long story short –  I get it done.


The catch.

I love being home with my son.  Separation anxiety is very real and definitely a two-way street, and we’ve both got it bad.  I love to spend time with him.  I love to cuddle with him.  I love to breastfeed him (oversharing, I know), I love to see him grow, and I love to watch him as he learns and experiences all that is new and amazing in his world.  I genuinely love everything about being a Mother.


There has to be more.

I started reading, and before you know it my mind was racing with ideas and thoughts about “consulting”, “entrepreneurs”, “millionaires”, “starting a business”, “building a successful business” and “financial freedom”.


The other catch.

I always feel like I am a skillset away from being completely confident. There’s money to be made via the web – should I learn to code?  I can operate programs such as Dreamweaver, and actually got paid to make a few websites for a few people after college, but is that enough?  I hear real estate creates millionaires everyday – should I become re-licensed and begin there?  I took a few screenwriting courses in school – should I take a few more classes and focus there?


Feelin’ good yet?

The point is there are many options, but sometimes your need can be so immediate, that it feels like few.  It’s like being under-qualified and over-qualified all at the same time.  But regardless of anything I’ve written here, anything I do in the world out ‘there’ – success is the only option for me.

Without any firsthand knowledge or feeling of the sun (success), I’ve seen the light and there’s just no turning back.





21 thoughts on “Let Me Explain

  1. You’re so blessed to have your little “love muffin” son. I am looking forward to experiencing everything about motherhood. As for starting your own business, release your intention to the Universe. Ask for guidance and direction. You already have the perfect solution — just relax and silence your mind for a few minutes a day. Your multi-million dollar idea WILL come through. It’ll hit you one day in the shower, or on your way home, or in the frozen food aisle in the grocery store. It will come. Trust.
    Ask, Believe, Receive.
    **Kisses to your son**

  2. You seem to have your priorities straight. Love that little guy, love and honor yourself and your potential, and keep learning and applying the things you learn that give you joy. The opportunities and money will come. Do SOMETHING every day to move towards your passion’s potential.

  3. Energy and drive are the keys. Financial desperation sprinkled with a desire to give your bouncy baby lots of toys, and voila, something wonderful with turn up!

  4. Enjoy your child’s childhood!!! Keep one toe…foot in your field though! As my blog unfolds you will see how young 50 really is but how antiquated it is viewed in the working world! Once the love muffins are older you realize that you really do not live on Sesame Street! The management skills, multi-tasking and other vast experience you earned being an at home mom unfortunately means nothing out there! At least that is what I am quickly learning! Following you now and a fan!!

    • I definitely am enjoying it and I know the years will seem to fly by that’s why I’d much rather be working for me in the meantime. It must have been awesome to experience so much with your kids. Stay at home Moms really in the end will have the best memories. I wish you well in all you do!

      • You are right and being at home has been such a fulfilling experience. The benefits my children have received and do receive is immeasurable. The memories of many firsts and so many “funs” are irreplaceable! Make messes with your children! Take them exploring! Discovering! We had and have a blast! (take pictures too)

        You are wise to establish yourself in a home based type business while you first is so young! Don’t be afraid to push your working limits! Grow your business…own it! The empowerment you will receive is an added bonus!

  5. Great and thoughtful post! I love how your kid comes first, I think in this job world we talk about “leaning in” and more but whether that’s realistic in the corporate world is mixed. Do you see yourself doing the “hustle” for a while? Or do you think you’ll start your own business at home?

    • jjpak, I love how he is first in my life too. It’s very fulfilling. I think I’ll be forced to hustle a bit more until I have the funds to pursue anything concrete besides teaching myself new skills and learning.

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